As another school year draws to a close, I find myself filled with a mix of emotions – pride in my children’s growth, a touch of nostalgia, and a renewed sense of purpose as a father and founder of Sanad Trust Foundation. This time of transition always prompts reflection, not just on my children’s academic progress, but on the deeper hopes and dreams I hold for their futures.
It’s a reflection I believe every parent should undertake, perhaps even drawing inspiration from the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) as he sought solitude in the Cave of Hira. In those moments, did he contemplate his own children and their path in life? I can’t help but wonder.
When we neglect this introspection, we risk the “slow-moving train crash” syndrome. Small fractures occur along the track of our children’s school years – missed opportunities, unaddressed concerns – and before we know it, a major emotional, academic, or spiritual crisis derails their progress.
It’s a weighty responsibility, this parenting thing. Yet, if we can meticulously manage our finances and taxes each year, surely we can dedicate similar effort to our children’s well-being and educational journey. After all, they’ll spend roughly 2,340 days – nearly two years! – within the walls of a school, away from our direct guidance. Leaving that process on autopilot feels irresponsible, like forgetting about an auto-renewing subscription.
The recent celebration of Eid al-Adha amplifies these reflections. It’s a holiday with deep resonance for all parents, particularly fathers. We’re reminded of the unwavering faith of Ibrahim (peace be upon him) and the incredible sacrifices of his wife, Hajar (may Allah be pleased with her). Their story, enshrined in the Hajj pilgrimage, is a testament to the shared conviction and commitment required to nurture faith and goodness in ourselves and our children.
Prophets, too, were often parents. The examples of Prophet Muhammad and Prophet Ibrahim underscore the need for thoughtful reflection, prioritizing what truly matters, and making difficult choices for the well-being of our families.
My sincere hope is that we all find time for this introspection regularly, at the very least annually. Perhaps as the school year ends, or during Eid al-Adha when the stories of these divinely inspired parents are so vividly recalled. Let’s commit to honest assessments and decisions that benefit our children not just in the present (dunya), but in their eternal future (akhira).
May Allah grant us all clarity in our reflections and wisdom in our choices. Until the next step, Rehan
Rehan.Climbs is a newsletter series about life as a father and founder. Join the ascent by subscribing below, let’s climb together!
I’m an organizational psychologist, father & founder. After completing graduate school at Teacher’s College, Columbia University in New York I spent formative time with students & scholars at Dar al Mustafa in Tarim. I’ve worked with the UNHCR in Geneva & taught social sciences as an adjunct professor in Miami. I write, speak, & consult on parenting, education, & institution-building. I’m honored to serve as the executive director of Sanad Trust Foundation, a nonprofit that provides education, wellness, & community programs for children, families, & elders.
Islamic tradition places the knowledge of God at the forefront in the pursuit of education. It further delineates a clear pathway to achieve this objective through the character and example of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. But what does this mean in the current North American context? Wouldn’t following this literally limit us in pursuing secular and other worldly knowledge? As a parent, guardian or care taker, how do I keep this intention and purpose alive and integral in the lives of children without compromising on their intellectual/academic pursuits?
Primacy of Knowledge
In order to answer these questions, we have to first understand three things;
The origin and source of all knowledge is God
The science of adab teaches us how to interact with and use every type of knowledge
Practicing that knowledge allows us to derive benefit from it, for ourselves and or others
The answer to the first question is clear and simple- we are not commanded to limit our pursuit to revealed knowledge alone, in fact we are commanded to pursue various sources of knowledge, worldly and sacred, revealed and experienced as all knowledge is knowledge of God. Islamic history and tradition bears witness to this commitment as the birth of the Renaissance is directly inspired by the Golden Age of the Muslims. When we understand knowledge through this lens, we realize that prioritizing this purpose for our children’s education does not jeopardize their intellectual and worldly growth. In fact, it is when we ignore this purpose, that their growth (intellectual and spiritual) is endangered and their character development at risk. Answering the second question requires some elaboration though. And it begins with understanding that the pursuit of education begins with the adab of education. Absent this, our children begin their journey that is inherently deficient and inadequate.
In modern context, knowledge is organized under a wide umbrella of specialized sciences (i.e. a compilation of ideas, thoughts, concepts, experiences recorded over a period of time and categorized under a specific subject matter). Knowledge has multifurcated into an enormous tree whose branches have grown so far and wide that a connection to its roots and origin seem to have gotten lost over time. Restoring this connection is essential to this pursuit and must be integral to the choices we make every step along the way. Secondarily, teaching the appropriate method of how to interact with any given knowledge (adab) is key to character development, intellectual growth and fulfillment of human potential. Educational institutions don’t just teach our children knowledge, the type of knowledge they impart instills in them the value and importance of knowledge that matters and holds merit. So if sacred knowledge or knowledge of God is completely absent from this process, so is the value and importance of that type of knowledge.
The human being is inherently gifted with certain faculties that deserve preservation, development and growth. According to Imam Fakhr Al-din al Razi, a human being is born with two faculties, the theoretical and the practical. The theoretical faculty is comprised of two primary sources of knowledge, divine and sensory perception. While the practical faculty involves action through experience and development of human character. Al Razi considered the composition of human essence to be its soul and believed that the two faculties can be perfected only through the capacity of the soul. The Islamic tradition and worldview also places great emphasis on the preservation and refinement of the human soul. It further holds that all other faculties are interconnected and rely on this faculty to help the human being fully realize its gifts and capacities. The Quran is therefore a primary source that can be accessed for theoretical knowledge in addition to sensory perception. Concomitantly, Prophetic character is the epitome of practical knowledge that can help refine and perfect good character in a human being. Everything else flows from and comes after establishing this as a fundamental.
Modern modes of education are devoid of these two fundamentals in the pursuit of education. Development of human character through active acknowledgment and refinement of the human soul is almost a non-existent concept in modern education, even in faith based schools. The focus of “modern” and secular education is and remains how to derive worldly benefit from the sensory perception knowledge available to us at hand. Precisely due to this, children do not naturally develop a holistic worldview which places God at the center of their life. The absence of this primal connection to divine knowledge is treated as an afterthought. Parents step in to fill the gap but face great challenges in reconciling between the two worldviews. A duality and conflict eventually emerges in our children’s mind because the worldview they are developing at school may not align with the moral, and ethical standards that are inspired by faith. In fact, many of those standards are at odds with each other and when presented with the choice, our kids gravitate towards the view they are more familiar with and have grown accustomed to on a day to day basis. It is natural for them to incline towards what sounds and looks familiar and not necessarily what is ethical, moral or correct. Their minds are never trained to discern between truth and falsehood. Rather, they simply become subjective recipients who must learn and specialize in knowledge of the worldly sciences so they can get “good jobs” and climb higher on the ladder of socio economic status.
A Holistic Worldview
The dominant worldview our kids are exposed to at most schools is not a holistic view but rather that of an ever evolving and precarious social environment. Even in Islamic schools where faith should be front and center, it is instead an addendum that’s added to a child’s day via an Islamic studies class. It’s a place that looks and feels “Muslim” but does not embody nor reflect ideals of high moral/ethical character. That’s how our children’s frame of reference is being developed and over time, it only solidifies its foothold on the mind and heart. As the children mature into adulthood, they may cast doubt on the “old”, and dated version of faith. Their default is not to connect back to their roots or critically think about their precepts but rather, adopt the easier of the two worldviews to retain a “normal” American identity. Instead of engaging with and trying to understand the Islamic worldview, they may stand in front of it, blocking the very light that can help guide their way. Instead, what they experience and witness is a shadow that looks familiar but appears dark and shapeless, lacking any color, life, vibrancy, beauty and rigor. That’s why where our kids “stand” with their faith matters- physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. When they are young, this is our responsibility. As their “standing” may determine whether they are obstructing the light of faith or can build the capacity to reflect it.
A Sacred Trust & Responsibility
Something I have observed in all children(as a parent and an educator of over a decade), even those not born into Muslim households is the desire and gravitation towards their fitra (primordial nature to know and understand God through discovering the natural world). Children are not just naturally curious about exploring their environments but also seem interested in understanding the “why”, the purpose for why things are the way they are. They gravitate towards finding meaning and purpose for things. They heavily rely on the environment and the people within those environments to help make sense of their curiosity and questions. The answers they find and receive begin to shape their ideas about right and wrong/ good or bad. They also express (even if in limited capacity) things they are naturally interested in and want to be around. We as parents don’t always do a good job “listening” to their cues. Our hearing is oftentimes biased or coloured by our own expectations for them. This is not easy for any parent to do (Muslim or not) but it is something we cannot and should not ignore. It is one of the keys to helping our children find their true potential in life. It is a part of our sacred trust and responsibility as parents and in the truest sense of the word “guardians”.
The bare minimum we must do as parents is to ensure that we are not obstructing the light of faith from reaching our children. So when we choose the “elite” private school over an Islamic school or homeschooling, or blended education models like that of Sanad Prep, we may be standing in the way of faith reaching our children. And although we feel good about sending them to the occasional Sunday school or after-school program, it will not meet the bar to help develop a sound, strong and holistic identity in our children. Blunt and outright, it is our responsibility to bring the light of faith into their lives through an active and living force on a daily basis. Are we doing that for our children? Are we doing that for ourselves? Are we ignoring the institutions that are right in front of us because of our personal biases, lifestyle choices, class status and entertainment priorities? Are we accepting the invitation to prioritize faith and preserve the best of what our children have the capacity to develop; i.e knowledge of God.
If we ignore the first two fundamentals (the source of all knowledge and the method of how to interact with it, i.e adab), practice alone bereft knowledge of its essence and its meaning. The choice is not simply between academic/worldly success and faith, but rather a life devoid of meaning, or one with meaning. So, how do we help keep faith front and center in our children’s lives? The answer is not as complicated as we make it sometimes. It is by putting faith front and center in our lives and in the lives of our children. It is by accepting the invitation to do good, when the opportunity presents itself. It is to remove our biases and choose for the reasons that are worthy and truly matter. It is by asking ourselves what our choices reflect about our views and our priorities. The choice is in our hands, not our children. May God give us the capacity to choose wisely and prioritize that which is everlasting and true over that which is temporary and fleeting. Aameen.
Attiqawas born in Pakistan and raised for the first decade of her life in her native country. She migrated to Montreal, Canada at age 11 and completed her undergraduate studies earning a BComm with a major in finance and a minor in economics and women’s studies. She has continued to pursue her academic dreams through obtaining an Islamic teacher education program certificate, and language enrichment programs in Arabic and Islamic studies. She earned a graduate certificate in nonprofit management with the Harvard Extension School in 2020 and continues her professional and academic training through local and online opportunities. She is fluent in English, Urdu, and Punjabi and can communicate in French as well. She lives with her husband Rehan Mirza and their two children in Miami, Florida. Her ethnic, racial, religious, and socio-economic background has shaped her pluralistic outlook on life and the world.
Inspired by the way of the Prophetic community, the intention of the Neighborhood Halaqa is to come together for the purpose of remembering Allah and reflecting on Prophetic character. Every member of a family and community is invited to travel together in spiritual development and to improve our relationship with Allah, His messenger, and our faith.
The Neighborhood Halaqa is our humble effort to provide a sanctuary for children, young adults, parents, and professionals to come together to travel on this path together.
For this special in- person Winter Neighborhood Halaqa, we wanted to have a sense of a rihla or travel in search of knowledge (in this case, also travel to seek good company or suhba :). This, so that we can get away from the day-to-day grind we have all experienced. We are big on nature and Allah’s natural world at Sanad Trust, so the other main objective was to be in a setting which embraces us with His beautiful natural world. Finally, we wanted all this to be safe. Sixteen distinct natural communities create the mosaic that is Jonathan Dickinson, the largest state park in Southeast Florida. So we have plenty of space and the largest pavilion in the park reserved.
More details about the program can be found on the website.
View our exciting NEW series “Linkups, 15 min chats that go a long way”. We’ll linkup with people in the community just like yourself – parents, professionals, leaders, activists, friends! Listen to their thoughts and opinions on topics that affect us all. You never know who might be our next guest – it could be you! This month we are taking on an issue that’s on everyone’s minds as schools make plans to re-open (or not) in the Fall- Schooling and Moms.
In this episode, Attiqa Syeda interviews a Mom of two boys and our Sanad Prep Coordinator, Fareeza Ghani Ali. Listen to her positive schooling experiences and what she felt were the important outward aspects when it came to her children’s education.
Join us weekly on Thursdays at 6:30pm EST for more engaging interviews. Find us LIVE on Facebook and YouTube @sanadtrust
The standard answer of anyone prior to March to, “How are you doing?” was “Busy.” At which point most people would list off a laundry list of “to-do” items that had them driving, running, or waiting through endless tasks. I was no different. It was Fajr. It was Isha. Days, weeks, months, years…were just flowing through our hands like water.
Well, Allah is amazing. We have been shown that we were never in control of anything. The order of operations of our lives had to pivot. Our norms of the day: going to work, going to school, doing groceries, meeting friends and family are being redefined. It is a work in progress.
So much has changed. What the future holds is very unclear.
But Alhamdulillah, at 8:45 a.m., a familiar voice travels through our home. I have teenagers, and they are not going to share a screen. So from all corners of our home, Ustadh Rehan holds morning assembly. Sanad starts our day, our intentions, and our work where it needs to be: with the One who is in Control. Then for the next few hours my kids have class with their learning coaches. In all of this worldly chaos, their schooling never missed a beat. They are holding the course, spiritually and academically. And for the next three hours with the quiet hum of their schooling, we experience “normalcy” and breathe.
Growing up in the South Florida Muslim community, and having the privilege of working with youth through various organizations (both Muslim and non-Muslim), I’ve seen a great deal. Over the past 20+ years I’ve witnessed many youth progress from elementary school to college, then transition to married life and parenthood. Although they mostly go on to lead successful lives into adulthood, the one thing that always stands out is the significant difference between the youth that were actively engaged in (faith-based) youth development while growing up, and the youth who were not.
I’ve been fortunate to participate in numerous youth-oriented programs as a youth myself. I’ve experienced first-hand the difference it can make in a child’s upbringing and values as an adult. These programs gave me the foundation and motivation to remain connected to my religion and to my community. I learned the value of being involved in doing good work and giving back to my community. I’ve witnessed the same transformations over and over again with the youth I’ve worked with in various Muslim organizations. They are more likely have a strong Muslim identity; they are more likely to have important life skills such as leadership, public-speaking, and time management; and they are more likely to be active in their communities, and are more willing to give back.
On the other hand, the lack of quality youth engagement programs and the inability to foster our youth into strong leaders will eventually adversely impact the South Florida Muslim community. As our current leadership begins to phase out of their roles, we are seeing a big void in finding youth/young adults who have the interest and/or skills to want to fill in and lead our communities. Organizations must provide these opportunities for our youth to be connected to their religion and to like-minded youth, while giving them the training and foundation to be successful adults who give back.
Sanad Trust Foundation has done an amazing job in laying this foundation through the Sanad Youth Clubs initiative. The clubs offer fun, educational, high-quality activities for students from Kindergarten to High School, in a safe, nurturing environment, and always with an uncompromising expectation of good moral character.
The Sanad Art Club is a unique club that explores art through creativity and exploration for students ages 5 – 7.
The Sanad Cubs focuses on STEAM (science, technology, engineering, art, and math) activities for students ages 7-11 years.
Middle School students participate in MYNA @ Sanad (Muslim Youth of North America). The youth group is student-lead and open to all youth 12- 18 years in the community. The group participates and organizes regional camps, national trips, and local social activities.
High School students participate in MIST (Muslim Interscholastic Tournament). Each year this group, which is open to students ages 14 – 18, fields a team to participate in the regional Florida competition. Competition categories include basketball, spoken word, short film, and much more.
My youngest son participates in the STEAM club and comes home after each meeting full of excitement and ready to share about everything he learned. He loves the hands-on, team-building activities. My older son participates in the MYNA club and is learning valuable skills like teamwork, organization, planning, communication, and more. Being a part of this group has really helped him build his confidence and leadership. As a parent, the best part is seeing their character and personalities being molded in such a positive way.
I’ve also had the pleasure of coaching the Sanad MIST team for the past four years. It’s been such a fulfilling experience for me to lead these amazing youth as they showcase their many talents at the annual competition. Through the Sanad MIST group, our youth have learned beneficial lessons such as working in a team, leadership skills, communication, all within a nurturing environment where they can feel free to be Muslims. It’s a great outlet for them to express themselves and be creative. It’s always rewarding to see them expand their mindset, build confidence, and really push themselves to reach new heights. Serving as their mentor has also helped me personally. Remaining connected to the youth somehow helps keep me youthful. It also keeps me on my toes and gives me a sense of ownership, so that I am always looking to sharpen my skills and improve my character to try to be the best role model I can.
It is my hope that more children can benefit from Sanad Youth Clubs or other youth development programs, so we can continue the cycle of leadership training and volunteerism.
In March 2018 Sanad Trust Foundation held our Sanad Parent Workshop. The workshop is mandatory for Sanad Prep families. At least one parent/guardian is expected to attend. The reason we have this expectation and other expectations of our SP families is that our hopes are high. We never wanted to Sanad Prep to be the same; we are actively trying to be different, better, and innovative. We want each of our students and their families to reach their fullest potential.
Sanad Trust Foundation is building the first-of-its-kind and one-of-a-kind family education center. Sanad Prep and the services Sanad offers are integrated and connected to one another. At SP, in particular, our work is guided by the proverb, It takes a village to raise a child. Sanad Prep is not for every child or family, but for the ones who want to work together to better their own and their child’s spiritual and cognitive life, then it’s a great place.
The workshop was themed, Keeping Children Safe and was conducted by Br. Rehan Mirza and Sr. Neelam Mahmoud. The content of technology and entertainment as well as social media, the internet, current events and more were among the topics covered. They were related to our children’s spiritual and emotional well-being. Also discussed was how Islam offers spiritual protection and coping mechanisms for our children and families.
This morning we talked to our Sanad Prep students about the importance of making a personal and emotional connection to the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, from their earliest years. We may wonder at times, how can this honestly be accomplished? We live so far from the times of the Prophet, peace be upon him. Our circumstances are different, aren’t they?
One of the easiest ways we recommend to our students, and in particular our male students, is to identify with the male figure in their life who is of the same age of the Prophet, peace be upon him during the period which they are studying. For example, our most recent lesson was with regards to revelation in the cave of Hira — an extraordinarily, momentous event, but one that was also quite traumatic, worrisome, and profound for the Prophet, peace be upon him, on a deeply spiritual, emotional, and psychological level. For many of our students their fathers happen to be close, if not the same age as the Prophet, peace be upon him, was during that eventful day. Many of students too are close in age to the children of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, during those days.
So how would it feel? How would it feel to see their fathers, and uncle, or a teacher that they care about and identify with in their life come home in crisis? How would it feel to see their mother comforting their father on the sofa after he’s expressed his fears? What faces would their siblings have? What would they say? What would we do in that feeling of helplessness?
It’s critically important on so many levels that we teach Prophetic history with empathy. For obvious reasons, teaching the life, example, and character of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, in our institutions of education is fundamental. However, we do a great disservice to the cognitive and spiritual development of our students when we don’t enable or facilitate for them the opportunity to connect — heart to heart — to a Prophet who was sent for all of humanity, not just them. Our educational institutes no longer seem to have the time, the caring touch, or frankly basic human concern in some cases to realize that this is one of the most important lessons a Muslim student of knowledge can take away from their academic experience during their school age years — period
Being able to identify cognitively, emotionally, and spiritually with the Prophet Muhammad, an embodiment of their humanity, can positively affect their academic success, their professional careers, and their personal life. Knowing the expectations of their humanity and how to properly navigate crises and challenges can only come when we’re able to learn the best human response from the one who is described as having the Best of Character. One whose family adored him from beginning to end. And one whose enemies found it hard to find a disparaging thing to say about him.
Many of the challenges faced by our communities today, in particular, the low expectations and performance of Muslim men in our communities can be attributed, in my opinion, to the lack of effort made during the formative years to establish the empathetic connection to not only the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, but by extension to their purpose and function in relation to all of humanity. When we only teach them to identify with themselves and their own pursuits, then we fail to help them understand the most basic character quality in the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him.
We must have the capacity to think beyond ourselves, as did the Prophet peace be upon him. We must have the capacity to be in the service and betterment of humanity. Ultimately, we must be able to manage our lives, as did the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, well enough to make a material difference of good during our brief time. This is helped with the support of having a connection to an example greater than ourselves. One that can inspire and teach us that — we have the potential to change the world for the better.
May the peace and blessings of God be upon the Prophet Muhammad and all previous Prophets, peace be upon them all, on all of their heirs, and may our children and students be amongst them. Ameen.
You are a student/seeker of knowledge – hadith of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) narrated by Abu Darda (may Allah be pleased with him)
Angels lower their wings
Creation remembers you
Adab : Ihsan
Your moral etiquette should be excellent…for Allah, who is All-aware
For yourself, because you’re worth it.
Adab with teachers/elders
They give you the most valuable thing, their time
They have experiences beyond your imagination
They are walking in the footsteps of the Prophet (peace be upon him)
Adab with the Masjid – it’s the most beloved place to Allah
It is protected by the Sacred Law from the earth to the heavens
Adab with one another
You are all students of knowledge – each walking towards Allah with honor
Don’t get in each other’s way and don’t disturb the path of your peers
Have great goals = Himma Aaliyah
Be like other noble youth, the grandchildren of the Prophet (peace be upon him) Hasan and Husain (may Allah be pleased with them) and other young sahaba who became great adults
Once you have understood these things it becomes a responsibility to uphold, to live by
By having adab and seeking ilm you become part of an unbroken chain, a sanad
Noble men and women you have done this since the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him)
Always make dua to Allah to give you these qualities and to protect them in you.
This document is a gift from the Sanad Trust Foundation. We only ask that you make dua for our success. Copyright 2017
One of the reasons students at Sanad Prep put forth good effort is because of the active work of our learning coaches to instill good values in them. They value the quality of their work and the effort they put in.
In general, values are those things which we teach our children to be important. It is one of greatest responsibilities as parents and educators. Values are often taught to children simply by them observing us. Where do we spend our money and time and attention as parents? Evaluate how you spend your money and time, and you will get a general idea about your values. Do we spend money on eating out or eating home cooked meals together? How much do we spend on entertainment amusement parks, movies, music, sports, etc? What about clothes, shoes, technology? What do we spend on education and learning opportunities? How much time do we read books?
Make note also that when we praise something in front of our children that they know what we are praising it for? If it’s food it should be noted that it is your gratitude to Allah for what is halal and tayyib nutrition. If it’s a car then perhaps the beauty of the design. If it is something in sports, is it the gift of health and ability?
It is important that we reassess our values as parents and families. In doing so can better appreciate what values are children are learning and adopting. Insha’Allah together we can ensure contentment in our children by instilling good and proportionate values in them.
Questioning our ourselves in not doubting, it is not intended for us to feel bad. Rather, is the natural way of sulook and those striving for improvement of character and refinement of moral etiquette (adab).
Below is a video recorded from our morning assembly at Sanad Prep. We call them Morning Lights. We pray there is a benefit.
May Allah bless you and your family. So many big things happening with the Foundation. Let’s remember one another and Sanad Trust in our duas.
A message of support for parents. Rehan Mirza of Sanad Trust Foundation offers some naseeha for parents to help them during challenging times which they may face.
